145 days on the field.

It's these moments when the neighbour tells you that she doesn’t like it when it rains at night because then you can’t hear when someone is crying for help. These moments remind you again, that you are living in a rural area of Kenya, where the key word is insecurity. I’ve been safe and I feel safe, sadly, this is not the situation for locals.

Violence - domestic violence, gender based violence are problematic topics here. There is still tabu and stigma around it,  still myths and traditions around it, which makes it a difficult topic to tackle. During the trainings on women empowerment we discuss these topics and the ways to protect oneself. I always encourage reporting to police. Unfortunately, to some women, this is not an option because of the fear of not being helped but instead chased away from home.

I have noticed, how in one county, just a few kilometres apart the opinions, behaviours, beliefs and customs can differ. For example, mothers and fathers teaching their children about adolescence or talking about sexuality and ways to protect themselves can be obvious in one area and unheard of in another. Religion appoints a lot in family values. In schools, absence of sex is promoted. Hence, the problem of early pregnancy. I have heard different opinions regarding to this. Some families of course support their child and the continuation of studies. In these cases, child is normally transferred to another school after giving birth, to make the integration back to school more supportive. Other times, when the father of the child is not supporting the mother, which normally is the case, and the family is too poor to take care of the school fees and the newborn, drop outs happen. Even when the daughters family tries to convince the boys family to help them, they are usually left empty handed and boy claims that there is no proof. 

I get asked for help a lot - asking for money; assistance; building a house; fixing something; a friend, marriage, a ticket to Europe or a sponsor from Europe who could support. I understand, how being in need and how living in such uncertainty makes us desperate. Still, I explain, that this is not how it works and that everyone has to work for their own well-being and try to come out of the situation. At this moment, we are both sad because both of us know that “getting out of this situation” is difficult in this context and sometimes seems impossible. This is why being here and trying to make a difference in mind-sets and empowering communities is so important.

Living in such insecurities - trust; work; help; health; authority; even relationship related can make you hopeless but somehow, everyone carries on. We finish the difficult topics and the next moment we joke about something and laugh and enjoy what the host has cooked. Needless to say - the guests can’t leave with an empty stomach!